sserts0

Apparently, friendster blog can’t take the huge amount of things i posted and said i exceed limit. so go to my new blog at sserts0.blogspot.com.

Let’s continue to witness God’s wonder in my life.

Yesterday, I went to visit my grandma and learnt that the breathing tube and the life support machines are removed. So, with a big grin, I stepped into her room in ICU. She was awake. Then I began to chat with her… and talked about how the people outside set up their camp base at the lounge… my mum’s teeth… my nephew Zack… never mind what we said… SHE SMILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE SMILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At that moment, I can’t help but hopped out of the room; I can’t help but sing praise upon the Lord. I can’t help grinning whenever I thought of it… even in MRT.. ok.. I know it looks dumb.

I thank You Lord. YOU ARE GOOD. YOU ARE SO SO GOOD. How can I ever thank You enough…

And this morning as I am typing this entry… a sms conversation with my sis:

hong: howz por?

jie: not bad. The nurse is feeding her porridge and chatting with her. She’s smiling.

While writing this blog entry… a few minutes later…

Jie:Her nose tube is taken put. She may be transferred to general ward today!

LORD!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!!!1 THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!

Weird, why am I crying… why am I trembling… haha. Thank GOD!

How can i keep from singing your praise, how can i ever say enough, how amazing is your love. How can i keep from shouting your praise, i know i am loved by my King, and He makes me want to sing

When everyone(including myself) has given up hope, I still cling on to the little tiny hope that a miracle will happen, that you will be completely well again; because i see you fighting hard too.

I remembered…

in July after my graduation, we went to your place to take photos together. You kept saying,"Thank God. You all have struggled so much and now you see.. finally you waited for this day. So must endure and persevere."

When i gave you money from my 1st pay, you said "don’t need la.. you keep…" and after i said,"it’s my first pay.. i want to give some to you." and with a smile on your smile, you put it in your pocket.

The last time i went shopping with you was at ang mo kio.. and you sliencely suffered the pain and continued to shop with us..

Whenever i am standing in front on stage in church, i saw you right from there. The warm and familar face, that gave me confident to serve in church.

there was once i sprained my neck… and you quickly went into your room and wanted to get the oil to rub for me… and you came out with a bottle of cough syrup… then you gave that "aiyo.. hahahha" look. hahaha.

when you visited my dying aunty (from my dad side), i saw you held her head and kissed her on her forehead. You cared and loved her even more than her own mum…

you always serving us and kept asking us to drink drinks when we go to your place…

your ever good tasting lotus soup which my mum tried to learn but not as nice…

your sacrifice for the family… so much that… we will all miss you badly.

You brought joy to the family. You make the family complete.

por… i will persevere to the end and not give up… because you want me to.

So don’t worry about us anymore… we won’t blame you if you are tired… and you wish to go… we love you still…

I always thought true love never exist, well, at least on the human to human basics. Seeing how my mum n dad are, looking at how fraglie relationship is, I have totally given up hope on love from man. However, my grandparent proved me so wrong. Looking at how they held each other hands and cross the road, seeing how my grandpa forced the jacket into my grandma’s hand; seeing their back view as they walked hand in hand, i am convinced. Love exists.

Now, my grandma lying on the hospital bed… so fragile and weak. It felt like she is going to leave us anytime. One moment, doctor told us that her condition has improved; the very next moment, her condition has worsen. A week of emotional  roller coaster has been so weary. Looking at the sick and weary face of my grandpa and relatives, I felt the ache in my heart. Seeing my grandma suffered, i would rather me suffer on her behalf.

I trust in God. I trust that God will move in His special ways; I believe God can… I believe that He is always so great to my family. Seeing how miraclously He has healed my grandpa, I really trust that He can… but i began to doubt… will He? Will He heal? or He has other agenda and bring her back to Him…

Lord, if You were to take her again from us, please don’t let her suffer this pain. If You were to take her, please also, i don’t know how, comfort my grandpa and take away the sorrow.

But Lord, please heal her completely. I really bear not let her leave us.

Lord, You are good.

Where would I be
If You had not been my side
How could I rise to meet
The morning of the day
Your tender mercies
Always calling from behind
At times I could not see You
Even though you were close by

Lord, You are good, You are good
And Your mercy forever endures
Lord You are good, You are good
And Your mercy forever endures

Help me to see You as You are
Help me to see Your loving kindness
Help me to see You as You are
As You really really are

And Your mercy forever endures
And Your mercy forever endures

Tea leave egg; egg cries.

Keyou

Thanks to Alvin for the photos, who basically miss most of the wonderful fireworks cuz he is busy taking photos.. whahaha

I have been wanting to post this entry long ago but somehow n for some reason i didn’t… so now… even though i am very tired and having a super terrible headache now…

Saturaday, unplanned, my NIE friend and I went to watch the fireworks after dinner. This is not the first time i watched fireworks.. I went last year with another friend.

The firework schedued to start at 9pm, but when we were there around 750pm, the place was already floaded with people. I HATE CROWDS!!!!!!!!!!!! i was in fact complaining within myself, siao why am i here? Well, put the complains aside, while waiting for a hour plus, my friend and i were talking about… MATH and PHY!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. I think the people around us must be thinking that we are 2 insane people. haha.

Standing, waiting, eating our cup corn, talking weird content, one hour passed eventually.

The firework was magnificant. With the bright lights in the black sky, it reminded me of the stars in Bohol island - the place in Philippines i went during mission trip. http://yehong.blogs.friendster.com/sserts0/2006/ The stars that filled the sky; the amazing brightness of the sky which we will never get a slightest chance to see in Singapore. It felt as if i could swim in the sea of stars… it is more than beautiful; it left me in awe. It reminded me how tiny I am; and how insignificant I am. It reminded me of how great God is. How amazing is He!! HOw awesome He is!!! How could i ever forget… how could i ever forget His goodness and faithfullness. Although there are moments of downs and disappointments, He is still so wonderful.

I thank You God. I really thank You, Lord. No word can express that.

i hurt 2 people’s feeling at a go last night; then it makes me ponder, the million dollar question that Jun and i always wondered: What are friends and what is a relationship?

After discussing, we come to the conclusion: Friends are not meant to be depended on; probably interdependent. I never believed in forever friends or happily ever after; I enjoy the company of friends at that moment and at that place, itz a super additional blessing; but if at a particular period of time, no friend comes along, to me, it is only natural. It doesn’t mean that i don’t treasure friendship; i doesn’t mean that having this mentality or not sharing my problem, i do not value my friends. I do; it is because i care so much that i don;t want to share, or get too close because it hurts. ha. sounds like i am defending myself; or maybe i am just too defensive. it just simply leave me to wonder is it better to be just simply alone and build up my walls again and hurt no one or… to trust and open up again.

I’m sorry that I hurt you
I took for granted all you gave
so freely to me

Corrinne May. All that I need.

Thanks for being my friends.

A Quote from my sister’s blog long time ago:

"The more you prepare outside class,

the less you perspire in class.

The less you perspire in class,

the more you inspire in class."